When I tell people I'm a coach, I can see the question forming before they ask it. "So... what do you actually do?"
Fair question. The coaching industry hasn't done a great job of explaining itself. So here's my honest answer, stripped of buzzwords.
It's not therapy. It's not consulting. It's something else.
A therapist helps you understand your past. A consultant tells you what to do. A coach does neither.
Coaching is about helping you figure out what you want, and then helping you get there faster than you would on your own. That's it. The whole thing.
In practice, that means I ask a lot of questions. Not the soft, fluffy kind. The kind that make you pause and go "huh, I've never actually thought about that."
What a coaching session actually looks like
You show up. We talk. But it's not a chat over coffee (even though it might feel like one).
There's structure underneath. I use frameworks like the Life Report, Values Mapping, and something I call the True Self Archetypes to help you see patterns you're too close to notice.
Most sessions start with what's on your mind. Something happened this week, something's been bugging you, something shifted. We dig into that. And usually, what looks like a surface problem leads to something more interesting underneath.
By the end of a session, you'll have clarity on something that was fuzzy before. Not because I gave you the answer. Because you found it yourself, with a bit of help.
Who coaching is actually for
Not everyone needs a coach. If your life is humming along and you feel clear about where you're going, save your money.
But if you're the kind of person who's done well on paper... good job, good income, decent life... and you still feel like something's off? That's the sweet spot.
I work mostly with mid-career professionals in their 30s and 40s who've hit a point where the old playbook isn't working anymore. They've been successful by other people's metrics, but they're starting to wonder: "Is this actually what I want?" I wrote about that feeling in Feeling Stuck Doesn't Mean You're Broken.
That question is hard to answer alone. Not because you're not smart enough. Because you're too close to it.
What coaching is NOT
It's not me telling you to quit your job and follow your passion. (That advice is almost always terrible.)
It's not motivational speeches. If you need someone to shout "you can do it!" at you, I'm probably not your guy.
It's not a magic fix. It takes work. Real, sometimes uncomfortable work. The kind where you have to be honest with yourself about things you've been avoiding.
But if you're willing to do that work? It can change everything. Not overnight. But meaningfully.
How to know if coaching would help
Here's a quick test. If any of these sound familiar, coaching might be worth exploring:
- You've been saying "I need to figure out what I actually want" for more than six months
- You're successful but not satisfied
- You keep starting things but don't follow through
- You know something needs to change but you can't name what
- You feel like you're running on someone else's track
If you nodded at any of those, take the free Life Report. It'll show you where the gaps are. And if you want to talk about what comes up, the door's open.
